essentially a diary

So I am having a really hard time making friends in college and it’s been really upsetting me lately. I mean I have friends from marching band, but they are all older than me and already have friends their own age and jobs and none of them live on campus so it’s really not convenient to hang out with them. And aside from that I have Olivia, and I love her a lot but she spends all of her time with two guys that don’t particularly like me so yeah. But I am just really frustrated, I see all these groups of people walking around together and eating together and just generally having a great time together and I have no one. All I want is for someone to talk to and hug and eat with. Somedays I go all day without saying a single word to anyone and I fucking hate it so much. And now it’s just all really overwhelming me and I can’t stop crying and I hate it and I hate myself and I hate being unapproachable but I am too scared to approach anyone and I hate it so much and it’s ruining college for me. I mean I love it up here, I love the town, I love the music program, I love my professors, but I have no one to share it with and what’s the point of anything if you don’t have anyone to share it with?